Luke 2:42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.
43 And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.
44 But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.
45 And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.
46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.
48 And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.
49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
50 And they understood not the saying which he spoke unto them.
51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.
We have searched the Bible from cover to cover and we have not found a single perfect parent, who ever lived upon the earth. Perfect parents do not live on our planet, and it’s a myth that has been adopted by some who may be prone to find fault or cast blame.
Every parent who has ever lived, and all who would ever live are scheduled to make some type of mistake, some more, some less. This is a naturally occurring fact as a result of fallen human nature, and even if parents were to try to do their very best, persons will, in most instances be able to find flaws, and mistakes of some kind.
As parents look back in retrospect honestly, they are going to see errors, and mistakes in judgement they have made, and if they were to retrace their steps it is certain that, in most cases, they would have done some things differently. That is because there is no such thing as a perfect parent, at least not on this planet.
In our first passages we read of the parents of Jesus, who themselves weren’t exempt from making some mistakes, for according to the record, they had gone an entire day, not knowing where Jesus was, until in a panic they started to look for Him. Now, let’s think about that for a moment.
The sacred record states that Jesus was just twelve years old when He went missing, which would have made Him a minor in our day, and as such, both His parents would be responsible for His whereabouts. The department of children and families would have taken this mistake very seriously, and no doubt, the parents could be subjected to charges as a result.
It was an error in judgement, on the part of Joseph and Mary, for the Bible says they “Supposed” that He was with His kinsfolk. If one of us parents today were to take the kids out for some festive occasion, and we were to return without one of the children, we would no doubt be questioned closely as to how it is they went missing.
And if the parent in question were to reply, and say that they supposed the kid was with the relatives, it would surely result in one of those heated moments between parents and we could all imagine the panic mode and bitter recriminations that will ensue.
But what is even more note worthy in the narrative is that the Bible says Jesus went down to Nazareth, and was “Subject” unto them, in spite of their error, for as far as Christ was concerned, mistakes parents may make in judgement do not render them being ineligible for the respect and honor that are due to them.
Other Biblical parents made mistakes and errors of their own, for none were exempt. Parents, being the fallen beings that they are do make mistakes and for this reason, it’s not everything that parents do, that the children should follow in their footsteps.
When grown up, the children should study the lives of their parents, and then, based upon what is written in the scripture, they should make their own informed decisions as to the right course they would pursue, choosing the good that their parents did, and refusing the evil.
In this way, they can reason from cause to effect as they observe the history of their parents, and then, the good their parents did, could be cultivated unto the upcoming generations, whilst the evils or errors in judgement can, and should be utterly refused.
This pattern of conduct, and planning the course of action to pursue, is encouraged in the Scriptures for it is by so doing, that righteousness and goodness can be honed for the better while the evils that may have been cultivated by the parents, can be stripped of their former value and status. Let’s read:
Ezekiel 18:1 The word of the Lord came unto me again saying,
2 What mean you by using this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying the fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge?
3 As I live, saith the Lord God, ye shall not have any occasion anymore to use this proverb in Israel.
4 Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sins, it shall die.
14 Now, if he begets a son that sees all his father's sins which he hath done, and considers and doesn’t do any such thing,
15 That hath not eaten upon the mountains, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, hath not defiled his neighbor's wife;
17 That hath taken off his hand from the poor, that hath not received usury nor increase, hath executed my judgments, hath walked in my statutes; he shall not die for the iniquity of his father, he shall surely live.
For instance, in studying the history of his parents, there are certain things Isaac could safely emulate, so as to foster the very same tendencies, in future generations. It’s stated of Abraham that everywhere he went, the first thing he would do was to erect an altar to God for worship, and this pattern of conduct resulted in the conversions of hundred, if not many thousands of persons.
This, Isaac could safely emulate, for it has the effect of promoting righteousness, and also diffusing the knowledge of God, and the Bible in the earth every place and everywhere the family goes. So basically, father Abraham gets an A plus for parenting, in this aspect of parenthood. Let’s read:
Genesis 12:7 And the Lord appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I give this land: and there built he an altar unto the Lord, who appeared unto him.
8 And he removed from thence unto a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: and there he built an altar unto the Lord, and called upon the name of the Lord.
Genesis 13:3 And he went on his journeys from the south even to Bethel, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Hai;
4 Unto the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first: and there Abram called on the name of the Lord.
18 Then Abram removed his tent, and came and dwelt in the plain of Mamre, which is in Hebron, and built there an altar unto the Lord.
[Patriarchs & Prophets pp 141] Abraham's household comprised more than a thousand souls. Those who were led by his teachings to worship the one God, found a home in his encampment; and here, as in a school, they received such instruction as would prepare them to be representatives of the true faith.
Thus, a great responsibility rested upon him. He was training heads of families, and his methods of government would be carried out in the households over which they should preside.
But as with any other parent, Abraham, and Sarah were not perfect, for they had their own share of mistakes and errors to deal with. For instance, when Sarah suggests Hagar as a surrogate wife, Isaac was never to follow her lead, if a similar situation was to unfold later on in his own household. Let’s read:
Genesis 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.
Ezekiel says “he considers” meaning that he ought to track a different course, if he were wearing Sarah’s shoes, for the errors in judgement should be bucked by the next generations. Furthermore, just because Abraham is the father of the faithful it does not mean that Isaac must follow blindly, everything he would see Abraham do.
Like everyone else, Isaac must study his family tree and wherever there are found any deviations from righteousness, wherever there is found polygamy, and where there are found any white, or black lies, Isaac is to take the good and utterly refuse the evil, for there is no such thing as a perfect parent, even if, and when the parents are God-fearing Christians.
In fact, there are certain things Abraham did, which if Isaac were to emulate, he could get himself into very serious trouble and that’s because, like you and me, and every other parent who has ever lived upon planet earth, there is no such thing as the perfect parent. Let’s read:
Genesis 12: 11 And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold, now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon.
12 Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive.
13 Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.
Again, we have the history of Noah, who God had declared to be righteous and indeed, Noah did very nobly in preaching righteousness to the antediluvian world. In fact, according to God’s assessments, after examining the doings of every person who had lived at that time, The Lord could only came up with one person, and the other members of his family would then become beneficiaries of Noah’s righteousness. Let’s read:
Genesis 6: 8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
9 These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.
Genesis 7:1 And the Lord said unto Noah Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.
[Patriarchs & Prophets pp 98] Noah's warnings had been rejected by the world, but his influence, and example resulted in blessings to his family. As a reward for his faithfulness and integrity, God saved all the members of his family with him. What encouragement to parental fidelity!
But just like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, Noah also had his own set of issues to deal with, for while he had the Bible in one hand, a bottle of Johnny Walker was often found in the other and because of this his sons would also need to “Consider” meaning, that, as they studied the history of their family tree, they too will need to choose the good, and utterly refuse the evil.
In other words, the preaching part of Noah’s history can be emulated with no problem whatsoever, but the part of his history that was tainted with Johnny Walker liquor has to be utterly refused. Parents do make mistakes, even with the best of intentions and therefore, it is a sacred responsibility, resting upon you and me to make wise choices. Let’s read:
Genesis 9:20 And Noah began to be a husbandman, and he planted a vineyard.
21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
Again, we have the God -fearing Jacob who made an error in judgement by preferring one son above the others, a situation that fosters favoritism among the kids. When Jacob made a coat of many bright colors for Joseph alone, it tended to inflame the current hatred harbored by the other eleven children.
This act of love done by Jacob was misguided to say the least, for parents should avoid demonstrating a glaring favoritism, or preference for one child above the next, even if, in their heart of hearts they might prefer one more than the others.
Whenever parents offer preferential treatments to one kid more than the others, it is most likely going to make the others feel left out, and sibling rivalry is almost certain to be the result. And in some cases, it can put the favorite child in grave danger, as it once did with young Joseph. Let’s read:
Genesis 37:3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors.
4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.
And we can go on and on, from Aaron to David and from Samuel to Solomon, from Joseph, to you and me and every parent in between; one thing we will discover is that perfect parenting is a myth.
And as such, persons must brace themselves for the fallout of what their parents did, or did not do, and should therefore make all the necessary corrections to their own course of action after considering their parent’s history in retrospect.
Philosophy in our day has crept in unawares into the hearts and minds of parents and individuals, and as is most often the case, it is not readily discerned for what it is. For instance, you may have heard it said that parents must earn respect from their children if their kids are to respect them.
It sounds philosophically cute, but there is only one problem with it in that the concept is nowhere to be found in the Bible. Furthermore, if you were to drill down deeper into what that philosophy would really translate into, you would be alarmed and concerned about the ramifications of it.
Let’s examine the concept in its most basic form:
“Respect has to be earned”
Now, if respect has to be earned by parents it will of necessity take some time, because the very concept of earning would necessitate an extended period of several years before it is earned, and the children of the parents in question, would have to go through a number of experiences with their parents, before a settled conclusion of due respect is made.
So, the question is: at what point during the earning process is respect to be rendered to the parents? At the beginning of the earning process, at the middle, or at the end, after it has been earned? During the interim period while respect is being earned, are the kids free to disrespect parents, if they so choose?
Let’s take the concept further, for it will be stripped down to bare bones to see where it will lead. In the military, is respect for senior officers earned, or is it to be rendered at the beginning of the new recruit’s training and then would naturally increase with the passage of time?
When persons go to boot camp, does the officer in charge have to wait until respect is earned before it is given, or is it true that the trainees will have to do several thousand pushups if they were to disrespect their appointed Sergeant?
Again, when the philosophy is applied to the heads of government, such as former president Trump and the current president, Joe Biden, are they to “earn” our respect before we respect them, or are folks to honor them initially in the capacity of their office, as required by God, and then later on respect for them may grow?
Again, should we respect them only if we agree with their agenda, or are we to show due respect, based upon the instructions written in the Scriptures? The Bible does not say anywhere that respect for leaders duly appointed or installed by God, must be earned. That is a philosophical myth that must now utterly be debunked.
In fact, if a close examination of some heads of state was to be made, it would be discovered that in fact, they may lose a ton of respect. Rendering unto the president, or to Caesar respect, is not based on kind and loving deeds Caesar may do. In fact, most of the Caesars we know of, have historical records that are riddled with good and evil.
Again, there were many persons who in their heart of hearts did not favor the former president, for like every other person, presidents do have a checkered history to say the least. Is the Christian to disrespect the duly chosen leaders, until they earn respect or is honor due to them at the onset, as with parents? Let read:
Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
How does pharaoh earn respect, especially if one is a Jew who is working in the sweltering sun with an Egyptian taskmaster making your life miserable at every turn? How does a king like Nebuchadnezzar earn respect, who threatened his own magicians with execution?
How does king Saul earn David’s respect, when Saul hunted David like a wild beast without cause? Yet, in the Bible, we read of David being instructed by God not to disrespect the office or person of Saul, and in one instance, where an Amalekite dishonored Saul, it was David who, by the direction of God, set the record straight, to put it mildly. Let’s read:
1st Samuel 24: 3 And he came to the sheepcotes by the way, where was a cave and Saul went in to cover his feet, and David and his men remained in the sides of the cave.
4 And the men of David said unto him, Behold the day of which the Lord said unto thee, Behold, I will deliver thine enemy into thine hand, that thou mayest do to him as it shall seem good unto thee. Then David arose, and cut off the skirt of Saul's robe privily.
5 And it came to pass afterward, that David's heart smote him, because he had cut off Saul's skirt.
6 And he said unto his men, The Lord forbid that I should do this thing unto my master, the Lord's anointed, to stretch forth mine hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord.
Romans 13:2 Whoever therefore resists the power, resists the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
5 Wherefore you must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience’s sake.
As it pertains to one’s parents, the Bible states that due respect and honor should be rendered to them, even if, like some who went before, they may make some mistakes and errors in judgment. Respect can be earned over a period of time, but it is due at the beginning, even to those parents who might never seem to deserve it. Let’s read:
Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
You will notice that God doesn’t qualify the parents by saying “Honor thy father and thy mother” if they do right, or if the earn your respect. The children of pagan parents are to show due respect and the kids of righteous parents are to receive honor, because what God is instructing us to do would protect the structural integrity of the family, which is the very foundation of society.
Similarly with marriage, God does not say that only Christian, God-fearing folks are to honor the sacred institution. The institution itself is sacred, yet those to whom it is given may be Buddhists, Atheists and pagan, if they so choose. It’s the institution with its structural integrity that is holy, not necessarily the people to whom it pertains. Let’s read:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
The words: “Therefore shall a man” means any man, whether he be a Christian man, a Hindu man, a Trini man, a Muslim man, a Mongolian man, a Republican man, or a Democratic man. It is the institution with its inherent structural integrity that God instructs us to preserve as being sacred.
The very same instruction, and concept also applies to parents and their children, imperfect though the parents may be. They might have committed serious errors in judgement, they may have come from the Caribbean, with all of the inherent cultural baggage that may manifest itself at times, or like Noah, they may have had drinking problems that they struggled with.
At the end of the day, the children are instructed by God to honor and respect their parents, for doing so protects the structural integrity of the family, and by extension, our society as a whole.
When children do dishonor to parents on account of their parent’s imperfections, it will never stop there, for they will most likely go on to disrespect Pastors, Elders, presidents, managers at work, and teachers, as took place, not long ago at Marjorie Stoneman High. Let’s read:
[Patriarchs & Prophets pp 308] Parents are entitled to a degree of love and respect which is due to no other person. God Himself, who has placed upon them a responsibility for the souls committed to their charge, has ordained that during the earlier years of life, parents shall stand in the place of God to their children.
And he who rejects the rightful authority of his parents, is rejecting the authority of God. The fifth commandment requires children not only to yield respect, submission, and obedience to their parents, but also to give them love and tenderness, to lighten their cares, to guard their reputation. And to succor and comfort them in old age. It also enjoins respect for ministers and rulers and for all others to whom God has delegated authority.
Parents are to do their very best to come as close as possible to being ideal. They are to follow closely in the footsteps of our Great Exemplar, by emulating the ways and means used by Christ.
And they should endeavor to win the confidence, trust, and respect of their kids as time progresses, but they will make mistakes, and when they do the respect and honor shown to them must remain as a constant.
Like everyone else living on our planet, parents are the products of fallen human nature and even when they are being converted by God, mistakes, or errors in judgement will occur. Let us therefore refuse the myth of perfect parenthood, and instead, try to do our very best by God’s grace, because the structural integrity of the family and society is at stake.
We therefore end with a passage of Scripture which enjoins upon both parents and their offspring love, respect and honor wherever due, because parents and children are imperfect beings, and errors will at times occur, yet we must not deviate from a “Thus saith The Lord” because of parental imperfections. Let’s read:
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
God Bless!