Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
The short answer to the above question is no. As it pertains to marriage, if the husband and the wife are not on the same page spiritually, and if there is a disconnect between one spouse and God, if both husband, and wife are not reading from the same script, and if they do not see eye to eye in spiritual things, then the answer to the question is no: Two can’t walk together except they be agreed.
If different concepts other than what is written are embraced by one and not the other, then there will be a marked difference in the way situations will be evaluated, and resolved, because the decisions and actions would be based on information, conclusions and ideologies, drawn from different sources.
If one spouse is prone to follow the secular experts, when God’s word differs on some particular subject, then there will be pulling and tugging when it’s time for decisions to be made. Again, if one spouse is led by God’s Spirit, and the other is not, then there will be a very noticeable disconnect in perspectives and views. These are just some of the reasons why it is important for spouses to be on the same page.
In other words, even though husbands, and wives might be in different stages of spiritual growth, the mere fact that both are being led by The Holy Spirit would make life a whole lot easier even when many problems arise, because the common denominator of The Holy Spirit will make resolution and mutual agreement easier to accomplish.
For reference purposes, spouses being on the same page spiritually involves much more than the verbal agreements that they come to. It goes much deeper than that for it includes the foundational element of God being enthroned in each other’s heart, and as a result, God’s word is held supreme, when it comes time for decisions and actions.
It is not the will of God that marriages should hang by a thread where spouses are barely holding on for dear life. God desires robust relationships with good understanding between each other so that when an issue arises that needs to be dealt with urgently, the husband and his wife would already be on the same page spiritually, so as to make resolution as speedy and simple as is possible.
Especially should this be the case, as we move into unchartered territory in the history of this world for there are serious decisions, and actions to be made, which would call for full agreement by both the wife and husband. Relocating to a new place of abode is one of those decisions, being referred to.
If one spouse is ready to move, for strictly financial reasons, and the other spouse considers spiritual factors as of greater concern, such as the influences that would obtain in the new environment, and the effect they will have on the family, then resolving of such an issue can potentially be a stretch.
As Abraham informed Sarah of God’s revealed will, she encouraged him by first agreeing with the God-given command and then she facilitated obedience by helping to pack up all their belongings. Thus, as both of them said goodbye to friends and family in their hometown it wasn’t with hesitation, grumbling or questioning.
Instead, with the living faith in God, shared by both spouses, their journey was made with anticipation, and expectancy, not with foreboding. This was not the case with Mr. and Mrs. Lot who were not on the same page spiritually, and who were reading from entirely different scripts when it was time for them to relocate.
At that time, one spouse became hesitant and upset at God’s command, and the differences began to be noticeable as one fell behind on their journey to the country, for unlike Sarah, some spouses are not too comfortable with country living. Thus, it was with Lot and his wife, one followed on with murmuring and complaining, whilst the other forged ahead in obeying God’s instructions.
In Abraham’s case, if Sarah had doubted, and if they were not on the same page spiritually the command from God would have seemed arbitrary to her and if she wasn’t reading from the same script, as was her husband Abraham, she could have made his life and his obedience very miserable.
The same is true of Abraham, for if he’d encouraged doubt, he might have infected his own wife with the same spirit of unbelief and he in turn could’ve made Sarah’s eagerness miserable. It’s critically important for God’s commands and instructions to be viewed through the same spiritual lens, for hesitance and unbelief in one spouse could adversely affect the other. Let’s read:
[P&P pp 161] If Lot himself had manifested no hesitancy to obey the angels’ warning, but had earnestly fled toward the mountains, without one word of pleading or remonstrance, his wife also would have made her escape.
The influence of his example would have saved her from the sin that sealed her doom. But his hesitancy and delay caused her to lightly regard the divine warning.
It was an entirely different scenario with Abraham and Sarah because they two were on the same page spiritually, therefore God’s command was received in faith and they made their journey with singleness of heart. Let’s read:
Genesis 12:1 Now the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee.
5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.
When both spouses exercise faith in God, it usually makes overcoming hurdles a thousand-fold easier, for their general perspective on life is that nothing is impossible with God, and that common mindset, between them, paves the way for many problems, and difficulties to be resolved amicably.
This was not the case with Nabal and Abigail who in their marriage were not on the same page. The wife was obviously being led by The Spirit, but the other spouse was reading from an entirely different script spiritually, and thus, there would always be marked undercurrents of differing opinions and views when decisions needed to be made. Let’s read:
1st Samuel 25: 3 Now the name of the man was Nabal and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.
Because of the spiritual disconnect between them, one would make life difficult for the other, whereas if they were walking together in agreement, as our first passage states, the request of David for food in his time of need, would most likely have triggered the same godly response from both.
But because they were not on the same page, that request of David caused a splintered response, with her husband refusing to help, but with Abigail going the extra mile to make sure that David’s reasonable request was granted.
It is worthy of note that in this situation, she had to actually hide what she had purposed to do from her husband, because as was later revealed, knowledge of her warranted kindness would cause division that ended with a heart attack, suffered by the one who dissented. It all has to do with the issue of spouses being on the same page spiritually. Let’s read:
1st Samuel 25:4 And David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep.
5 And David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name.
6 And so shall ye say to him who lives in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast.
7 And now I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we hurt them not, neither was there ought missing unto them, all the while they were in Carmel.
8 Ask thy young men, and they will shew thee. Wherefore let the young men find favor in thine eyes: for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants and to thy son David.
9 And when David's young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all those words in the name of David, and ceased.
10 And Nabal answered David's servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master.
11 Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?
An entirely different response comes from the wife, who views the same request in a different light, and she rises to the occasion to do that which was right. These are the times when the spiritual disconnect between spouses becomes markedly evident, and if the issue of walking in agreement is not addressed, an irreversible splinter could arise in the marriage, as it became evident in this narrative. Let’s read:
1st Samuel 25: 14 But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them.
15 But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we anything, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields.
16 They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep.
17 Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him.
18 Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses.
19 And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.
20 And it was so, as she rode on the ass, that she came down by the covert on the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her; and she met them.
37 But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone.
Therefore, in addressing the issue of spouses being on the same page spiritually, our case study would center around the circumstances surrounding the birth of our Savior, Who came into this world under unprecedented circumstances, that would have left any rational thinking man, scratching his head.
Joseph was engaged to Mary, and they were soon to tie the knot in holy marriage when lo and behold, Mary becomes pregnant. This situation, in and of itself would be cause for great concern by any man, but Mary’s explanation of the situation caused her fiancée, Joseph to think twice.
To become pregnant with a child from a different father, whilst engaged to a man is grief enough, but to say that the father of the child is A Spirit can send a man completely off his rockers, and if it were not for the fact that both Mary and Joseph were on the same page, having that common denominator of God enthroned in their hearts, the narrative could have taken a very different turn.
The explanations, the dreams and the visions given would only make sense to spouses who are spiritual because the natural man does not receive things of The Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him. To try to explain to a person who is not spiritual, that one became pregnant by A Spirit would cause most folks in the secular realm to recoil with scorn.
Even Joseph was not buying the explanation initially given by Mary, because the Bible says that he was thinking to put her away, to call off the marriage, albeit in the most-kind manner possible.
Me personally, I would have a hard time swallowing that explanation, and we believe that is the reason why God had to intervene in a dream to Joseph, to allay his fears and concerns. Situations which present grave perplexities would become extremely difficult to resolve if spouses are not on the same page spiritually, with the common dominator of God being present in the relationship.
Even for Joseph to accept that explanation from God would require a leap of faith, yet it was the same faith that was required for his wife to believe that it was the Holy Ghost who impregnated her. They were on the same page spiritually, and this facilitated explanations, conclusions and decisions that would otherwise have caused a permanent rupture. Let’s read:
Matthew 1: 18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.
24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife.
Can two walk together except they be agreed? The answer to this question would become all the more relevant as husbands and wives in our day seek to be on the same page spiritually. We are living at a time in earth’s history where final movements will be rapid ones, and because of this, serious decisions may have to be made quite suddenly.
Some spouses, with their families had to make their move suddenly in Ukraine, as the prospect of war overshadowed normal daily life, and many families were forced to make quick decisions, whether they would stay, leave, or split up their families so as to procure the best outcome.
And we too here in the West are not to think that everything will be smooth sailing forever, for the Bible has stated unequivocally that perilous times will come. It may be, that like Lot and his wife, split second decisions would have to be made, under the direction of God, and if spouses are not on the same page spiritually, cracks in their relationship would certainly appear.
Therefore, it is of great importance that as nations are increasingly becoming embroiled in real turmoil, that spouses seek to be aligned spiritually. This will call for soul-searching and often deliberations with the understanding, seeking to address whatsoever differences in spouses’ faith, and perspectives may exist.
Praying together, staying together, going to church together, studying God’s word together and talking together often, would go a long way in cementing the bond between husband and wife, so that their marriage could be bullet proof, if, and when tested severely by trials.
It is the will of God that as husbands and wives head into unchartered territory, that the same spiritual union which existed between Abraham and Sarah, be our own experience. One spouse walking by faith whilst the other spouse walks by sight is a recipe for disaster, because it is the faith factor that will loom large and necessary as earth’s final conflict unfolds.
Therefore, wherever palpable differences may exist spiritually, let husbands and wives seek to close the gap as soon and as much as possible, for we would need to be on the same page spiritually, now more than ever. We end with a passage of scripture that should help us to achieve this by God’s grace. Let’s read:
Ephesians 4: I therefore, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, 2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3 Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
God Bless!