Over the years, individuals have sought to reverse God’s order that was established in the beginning so that the family unit could be founded upon the eternal principles of righteousness. Even after the fall of man, it was never God’s will for His order to be reversed, but sadly, it has been, in too many of the families who claim Christ as our leader.
For the record, God’s established order can be seen both in the way He created Adam and Eve, and the instructions which He gave to both of them. Adam was created first, showing that He was to take the lead in the formation and running of His family, and then Eve was created from the rib which God took from the man. Let’s read:
Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8 And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
15 And the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat.
17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Obviously, the instruction pertaining to the tree of knowledge, of good and of evil was first given when Eve was not created as yet and thus, Adam, as the head of the home was expected to pass on to his wife the information God had given him, and she in turn was to believe and obey those instructions as coming not from Adam, but from God Himself.
Furthermore, The Lord instructed both of them to beware of the danger, so that the requirement of restraint as it pertained to the forbidden tree would rest upon God’s authority, not merely Adam’s own. In families where questions may arise as to where the priest of the home gets his instructions, the wife as well as the children only need double check with God’s word.
It was only after God had created Adam, put him to work, and gave him instructions, that Eve was made and because she was taken out of man, she was not to take the lead, nor to act independently of Adam. Now, we are almost certain to get into trouble for saying so, but this shows how far from God’s ideal we have fallen. Let’s read:
Genesis 2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
In our day there is a spirit of independence that has resulted in some men relinquishing their duties and responsibilities to their female wives, while on the other hand, women’s liberation movements have driven some wives to resist God’s order, and take to themselves both the position and duties that were originally delegated to the father.
While it is true that some wives have no choice but to take the lead in family and religious matters, for the lack of leadership, or absence on the part of the father, yet it was not God’s original ideal and wives would find it difficult to manage homes, where the father is culpable of a dereliction of duty.
However, there is to be a restoration of God’s ideals in those families which are called by His name, and even though there may be certain situations where better cannot be done, yet, The Lord is calling on us to do our very best to live in harmony with His wise instructions wherever possible.
Because of the numerous divorces that have done damage to so many families, God’s ideals for many now stand in disarray, but unlike humpty dumpty, Jesus is willing and able to put all the broken pieces back together again wherever humble hearts would submit to His guidance and leadership.
Thus, by observing what God did and how He did it, coupled together with His words of instruction, all can conclude that the priest, and head of the home was originally ideally intended to be the father. But with the passage of time, and with those subtle introductions of various divergent views, we have now reached a point where the priest and father in too many cases seems to be missing in action.
In our day, the various philosophies, and views on so-called freedom and liberty of the sexes has now caused many families to become discombobulated, to the point where the roles of parents and children husbands and wives, have in too many cases, been almost utterly reversed.
Thus, it is a solemn statement that we make that in the overwhelming majority of cases, the problem is with the husband, not the wife. After studying very carefully, how God holds persons responsible, we’re certain that He rests the bulk of responsibility of the family upon the man’s shoulders. This conclusion is to be observed in the following examples. Let’s read:
Genesis 3: 6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
Genesis 16:2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
16 And Abram was fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bare Ishmael to Abram.
Genesis 17:1 And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.
Exodus 4:20 And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand.
24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him.
25 Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.
26 So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.
1st Kings 21:2 And Ahab spoke unto Naboth, saying, Give me thy vineyard, that I may have it for a garden of herbs, because it is near unto my house: and I will give thee for it a better vineyard than it; or, if it seem good to thee, I will give thee the worth of it in money.
3 And Naboth said to Ahab, The Lord forbid it me, that I should give the inheritance of my fathers unto thee.
4 And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread.
5 But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said unto him, Why is thy spirit so sad, that thou eatest no bread?
6 And he said unto her, Because I spoke unto Naboth the Jezreelite, and said unto him, Give me thy vineyard for money; or else, if it please thee, I will give thee another vineyard for it: and he answered, I will not give thee my vineyard.
7 And Jezebel his wife said unto him, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel? arise, and eat bread, and let thine heart be merry: I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.
8 So she wrote letters in Ahab's name, and sealed them with his seal, and sent the letters unto the elders and to the nobles that were in his city, dwelling with Naboth.
9 And she wrote in the letters, saying, Proclaim a fast, and set Naboth on high among the people.
10 And set two men, sons of Belial, before him, to bear witness against him, saying, Thou didst blaspheme God and the king. And then carry him out, and stone him, that he may die.
15 And it came to pass, when Jezebel heard that Naboth was stoned, and was dead, that Jezebel said to Ahab, Arise, take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite, which he refused to give thee for money: for Naboth is not alive, but dead.
17 And the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying,
18 Arise, go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, which is in Samaria: behold, he is in the vineyard of Naboth, whither he is gone down to possess it.
19 And thou shalt speak unto him, saying, Thus saith the Lord, Hast thou killed, and also taken possession? And thou shalt speak unto him, saying, Thus saith the Lord, In the place where dogs licked the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick thy blood, even thine.
The question is: Why does it seem as if God calls the man to account first, while the wife is addressed later? The reason is, believe it or not, regardless of what secular society thinks or teaches in the matter, God holds the husband accountable first for matters that take place under his roof. That is why Eli’s wife is not mentioned in the bad behaviors of their sons.
This is not to say that wives will be let off the hook if they do evil, but the Bible teaches that the brunt of the responsibility rests upon the shoulders of the father, to whom God originally gave the lead as the priest of the home.
Thus, as we study the pros and cons of being priest, it would be well if all of us can learn our lessons, for nothing has changed since God first instituted His established order. One of the pros of being priest is that the responsibility of training the children aright will result in blessings to households, communities, governments and nations.
Success or failures in life can often be traced back to the ground work that was done at home, where the father, as priest of his house, laid the foundation for righteousness by the faithful teaching of God’s word with an exemplary life to back it up, because actions speak louder than mere words.
Day by day, by precept and example, both parents, but especially the priest of the home should be the living embodiment of the principles and laws of the Bible, taking care to guide the young and restless in safe and wise paths.
Prayer is a vital necessity on an ongoing basis, but at the end of the day the children will generally follow where the priest took the lead, and as such, it is of critical importance that the father says and does the very best he can as far as a living breathing example goes.
On the other hand, one of the cons of being priest is that he will sometimes get pushback from the kids, or the wife, especially if both parents are not on the same page spiritually. This is one of the sources of much grief in families, where one parent says one thing and the next parent says another thing, to the utter confusion and dismay of the kids.
And children who are keen to discern the difference between the parents, will usually side with the one parent who is more lenient to their wishes. Thus, a wedge is driven between the instructions given by the priest and that of his wife, so that an unspoken uneasiness hangs in the atmosphere.
Both parents are always to present a united front to their kids, and should avoid countermanding each other in the presence of the children, because this will severely weaken their ability to demonstrate stability, unity, and authority in their households.
Furthermore, the priest is not to expect that every instruction from the word of God will go over well, without any resistance or remonstrance. Yet, he is still expected and is required by God to deliver the goods without fear or favor. Some priests will have some difficulty carrying this out in their homes, but God will grant grace and strength where needed. Let’s read:
Genesis 17:9 And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
10 This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
12 And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
13 He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
Some individuals may question why some of God’s requirements may be disagreeable, and not always cool to carry out. That is because obedience, as well as one’s loyalty are primarily tested in disagreeable and negative circumstances, where persons would have to go against their own grain.
As priest of his home, Abraham could not even tell his wife of the instruction God gave him concerning the sacrifice of Isaac on mount Moriah, because he almost certainly would have run into serious trouble with Sarah. It is no guarantee, that in carrying out his duties that the children or spouse might readily agree, and in some instances, there will be definite resistance.
But the priest cannot and should never use these remonstrances and push-backs as an excuse not to faithfully carry out his God-given duties. Whenever such instances arise in the home, unceasing prayer to God must be made, peradventure the wife, and the kids may understand, but the priest of the home must never waver when it comes to right or wrong.
Even though no priest in our day will be called to do what Abraham was commanded to do, yet there are instances where disagreements between the priest and his spouse will certainly arise from time to time, as it pertains to the implementation of righteous principles and practices within the home.
Some spouses may be naturally more lenient than others, and where such disparities exist the priest of the home should be very careful not to abandon his duties for the sake of peace, such as occurred with Eli. Such fathers may seem cool to their children but in heaven, their names are written among the lost, for what may be cool with men, might not pass the smell test with The Lord.
Being priest includes the carrying out of unpleasant duties sometimes, and God must be sought in these situations to smooth out the rough edges, as far as is possible. For instance, if a proposal is made that is definitely in conflict with right principles such as the clandestine methods suggested by Jezebel, the man or priest of the home must tow the line faithfully in not succumbing to marital pressure.
When Sarah suggested an alternative route to what God stipulated, concerning the promised son, the priest of the home should have stood his ground, in love, and not yield to pressure. The same is true of Jacob when Rachel demanded “Give me children or I die”. The priest of the home may sometimes find himself faced with some unreasonable proposals.
Whenever unreasonable demands are made of the priest or whenever suggestions, contrary to God’s revealed will are made, that is a call to prayer for the priest, and God would grant both strength and wisdom to deal with the proposal in a firm, loving, and courteous manner. But if all these efforts fail, the priest of the home must not succumb to wrong.
Then there are those gray areas where satan is too often most successful in causing division, where the word of God might not spell out a definite course of action in black and white, and where decisions will need to be made through earnest prayer and sound judgment. In such instances, one spouse might not feel any need for prayer, while the other may see a potential for trouble on the horizon.
These differences in discernment should be taken to God first by the priest of the home, so that as he opens up his concerns in the matter to his wife, she peradventure may be willing to listen. More issues are solved by prayer than many Christians realize, and that is why we encourage everyone to take all matters to God in prayer first.
But, if and when things reach a boiling point where one insists on taking a certain route, without first consulting with God, then the priest of the home should lay out as best he can, the pros and cons of such actions, and he is expected to mutually bear the consequences or fallout of such an action, even if he may not participate in it.
Christ bore, and still bears in His Person, the fallout from our actions as His people, and since husbands are instructed to love their own wives even as Christ loves the church then we must expect some level of adverse fallout if differences in discernment persist.
This pertains only to the gray areas where a Biblical course of action may not be written in stone. Prayer between spouses is to be greatly encouraged, which will greatly diminish the heavy lifting the priest may find himself having to do from time to time. Let’s read:
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Again there might be differences of opinion that the priest of the home may encounter when it comes to the raising and training of children. Both the priest and his spouse are to raise their kids to love and to fear God, but the father, as priest of the home must take the lead. It is a responsibility that can never be shirked, without devastating consequences.
It is the solemn duty and responsibility of the father to lay out in clear, distinct lines, the laws, statutes, and principles of righteousness as is written in the Bible. The kids may not always agree, or like what is said and done but the priest must never present the word of God, and its instructions as being optional, or subject to the likes and preferences of any.
As was plainly stated before, being a faithful priest of the home will include push-back at times, but the combination of love and firmness will etch into the minds of the kids and the wife, that the priest does have the best interest of the family in mind, and all would benefit in the years to come, if the father and priest is unswerving and faithful to truth and duty. Let’s read:
Deuteronomy 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart.
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
There is a reading given to us by God, through His servant, that will do us well if we put into practice the lessons granted through the experience of others. Let’s read:
[Patriarchs & Prophets pp 578>579] God held Eli, as a priest and judge of Israel, accountable for the moral and religious standing of his people, and in a special sense for the character of his sons. Eli did not manage his household according to God's rules for family government.
He followed his own judgment. The fond father overlooked the faults and sins of his sons in their childhood, flattering himself that after a time they would outgrow their evil tendencies. Many are now making a similar mistake. They think they know a better way of training their children than that which God has given in His word.
Thus, wrong habits are left to strengthen until they become second nature. The children grow up without restraint, with traits of character that are a lifelong curse to them and are liable to be reproduced in others.
There is no greater curse upon households than to allow the youth to have their own way. When parents regard every wish of their children and indulge them in what they know is not for their good, the children soon lose all respect for their parents, all regard for the authority of God or man, and are led captive at the will of Satan.
The influence of an ill-regulated family is widespread and disastrous to all society. It accumulates in a tide of evil that affects families, communities, and governments.
In closing, we encourage all priests, whether they be father, or mother by default, to be faithful in the execution of duty, for it is a weighty responsibility resting upon our shoulders, the results of which will have eternal consequences. We therefore end with a passage that confirms the vital importance of the priest of the home. Let’s read:
Malachi 4:5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
God Bless!