The history of Samson’s relationships with women, and the marriages he thus consummated are full of instruction for those who are thinking about tying the knot. His experiences are not unique, but are often repeated to a greater or lesser extent by the vast majority, even among those of us who profess to serve God. But as we observe his history, we will discover some of the common errors that are to be avoided.
A very bright future was set before Samson, for it was stated by God that he would begin to deliver Israel. Thus, from his conception, and on through birth, childhood, and teenage years, circumstances that are favorable to spiritual growth were put into motion, from his diet to his vow as a Nazarene, by which he was under serious obligation to exercise self-denial.
But like so many who have followed in his steps, he did not understand the difference between love and infatuation, for he was attracted primarily to mere externals, and the gold of character and those other important matters, which pertain to happiness and longevity in marriage, were sacrificed all for a pretty face.
Beauty was made to override common sense, and the instructions of God were sacrificed for sensual pleasures, which are fleeting. Those who have thus gotten involved in a marriage relation should try to make the best of their situation, even though those circumstances surrounding their initial decision may not have been ideal.
In other words, if at the first, one married someone because of a pretty face, then when wrinkles, and aging begin to take their toll let them not despair or complain that they acted in haste. In such situations God will grant grace in response to earnest prayers, so that the inner beauty of those persons would be appreciated.
If indeed one made an error in judgment as stated above, then such a person should not make the second mistake by saying a mistake was made. On the contrary, one’s best efforts should be engaged to cultivate that true love, which only comes from God, and in many cases, a change of heart can take place.
For starters, the Bible states that man looks on the outward appearance, and because this is often the case, the weightier matters that could spell success or failure in marriage are often overlooked. External beauty takes different forms because it doesn’t only refer to physiques but includes such things as talent and strength, education and finances, singing and sportsmanship, eloquence and smile.
Now while all of these things are good and not to be condemned, at the end of the day, when the rubber meets the road and the going gets rough, they fail to deliver that resilience, endurance, patience, and understanding that are needed for the marriage to bounce back from the many hurdles, and problems that are often encountered.
A cute smile cannot pay bills and talented musicians might not be able to fix a broken toilet, or mow the lawn. Again, money does not, and cannot buy true love, for when wealth vanishes, as it did for many in 2008 the profession of love was blown away like the chaff in the wind.
Characteristics such as uniform kindness, and that willingness to sacrifice self for the good of the other do not occur by chance, and if a marriage is built on strictly mere externals, it can be in danger of failure. As much as some of us may love to exercise, and be in health, the fact is that if Jesus doesn’t come soon, we will all go the way of the world.
Here is where many persons, like Samson, fall into the snare of the devil, because flattering beauty is often made to drive decisions that are not soberly and prayerfully thought out. That is not to say that a person should marry one for whom there may not be any physical attraction.
But externals should not be allowed to override the weightier matters that will spell success, or defeat, happiness or frustration, after the dust has settled. It is often the case, that after only a few months, or years, persons begin to suffer with buyer’s remorse, as they find out, after the fact, that they have taken the husk without the kernel.
After the euphoria of the marriage ceremony at the altar has faded, and after babies come, and changes in physical appearance begin to take place in both parties, then it is character that will tow the line. Otherwise, those who are only dead set on mere externals will be looking for another pretty face, or a next knight in shining armor to replace that which has faded.
This is one of the main reasons why so many folks in high and low places have married two, three or four times, because they keep on chasing that which will surely fade. Especially is this the case with the rich and famous who may be able to afford the costs of breaking up, and who may not be restricted by such issues as child support.
On the other hand, those who seek to form unions according to the principles set forth in the Bible and who seek to make God first in everything, are given resilience, and grace to weather almost any storm, and even though trials may come, it would be seen that they are enabled walk with a steady, and even tread.
Therefore, the marriage vow should never be taken lightly for it is meant to keep persons happily united in the good times, as well as the bad. A pretty face, and an attractive physique might come down with cancer, as many in Hollywood have discovered, and it is only godly character or genuine love that would keep persons together for the long haul.
The practical matters that will affect your everyday experiences should be considered also, and should never be overlooked on account of external beauty. There are some pretty individuals who cannot cook water to save their lives, and there are others who have spending habits that can threaten your sanity and patience at the same time.
Thus, God advises us to proceed with great caution and prayer making only those decisions that can last a lifetime. It is in these contexts that we will review some of the bad decisions made by Samson, if haply someone may learn these lessons well, and thereby avoid ship-wreck of faith and marriage. The name “Delilah” will be used generically, to represent all of the relationships Samson entered into. Let’s read:
Judges 14:1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
2 And he came and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.
This is the first very mistake, and a common one that is made, for at the very outset we observe that Samson disregarded the plain instructions of God pertaining to marriage with unbelievers. God loves unbelievers, for Christ died to save us all, but as a practical matter, a believer and an unbeliever will scarcely see eye to eye on several important fronts.
Being unequally yoked goes much deeper than just mere incompatibility, because it has to do with the operation of two masters under the same roof. The Bible tells us that no man can serve two masters, so if one is in Christ and the other is not, there may be severe pulling and tugging because of the presence of two different invisible forces in the home.
Now, it is true that the Bible cautions those who are in such a situation, not to separate because of this, however, the Christian in such a relationship would need to spend considerable time on his/her knees, so that Jesus may give grace to manage differences in a manner that may ease the heavy burdens and, hopefully bring the other on board.
Samson will not be able to force Delilah to come to church, and even if she does the service to God that is coerced cannot be accepted. Therefore, unless a union of two persons takes place with them being on the same wavelength spiritually, problems are almost certain to arise, for there will be differences in priorities, in eating habits, in financial priorities, and in many other areas where there should be agreement.
For instance, if Samson and Delilah were to run into financial difficulty for any reason, and Samson with his Christian upbringing decides to return his tithes and offerings, whilst bills are piling up, his wife will most likely raise a serious remonstrance at what she may view as being an unreasonable decision. To put tithes before groceries, while her kids need food on the table can trigger arguments of epic proportions.
Samson on the other hand, who has been trained by his God-fearing parents to trust and obey, will be more inclined to walk by faith knowing that God will come through, since he has probably seen this same movie before, and repeated many times over in the lives of his parents and in his own experience.
Delilah, who has not had any such experience may be more inclined to call 911, or the Department of children and families, for with her upbringing, the temporal things, and necessities always come first, with anything pertaining to worship being held in subjection to the mundane things of life. Thus, the one walks by faith, the other by logic. Let’s read:
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
2nd Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Deuteronomy 7:1 When the Lord thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it;
2 Thou shalt make no covenant with them;
3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods, so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you and destroy thee suddenly.
Again, at the outset we observe that Samson did not consult the wisdom nor the experience of his parents, for had he done so, they would have given him a million and one valid reasons why he should put the brakes on such a relationship. Close affinity with a partner who does not fear God is often the recipe for disaster, for there will be two masters operating in the same house.
But since Samson was now over eighteen, and had become an “adult” as it is right here in the Sunshine state, and since he currently had his driver’s license and a job, and could vote, the counsel of his godly parents seemed to be not worth considering, since, he thought he knew more, and better than they.
The command to honor one’s father, and mother also includes the instruction to consult with them on important matters that can have life-changing consequences. This is particularly applicable where one’s parents are God fearing, because God honors the disposition of children to take counsel. Let’s read:
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.
9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
That’s why in Isaac’s case, God seemed to be in a hurry to provide a beautiful wife, both internal and external, complete with character, because, even though he was forty years of age at the time, Isaac deferred to his father’s experienced judgment. This is not to say that Isaac would have been be out of place to make any input, but his attitude is what made all the difference. Let’s read:
Genesis 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh.
3 And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell.
4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
10 And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master and departed.
12 And he said O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water.
14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
15 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out.
Another issue Samson encountered, and one that many have yet to meet is that of supposed scarcity of Christian spouses. The argument is often raised that there are scarcely any Christian men or women available, and because of this one has no choice but to go contrary to the scriptural instructions. Let’s read:
Judges 14:3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
In fact, there are millions of God-fearing people, but God knows who and where they are. And if we were to trust in God, and decide no matter what to walk by faith, then in the fullness of time God will provide and when He does you will not be disappointed. It is because we are so prone to doubt and complain or succumb to fore-gone conclusions why it may seem as if there is a lack.
Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
21 Unto him be glory.
Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord.
But as is so often the case, Samson was impatient, as if Delilah was the only fish in the sea. Whenever we set rigid timetables for God, we may effectively remove Him from the driver’s seat, for we should never try to force Him into working within our time frames. We are not to worry about passing the age of child-bearing, for that is not an issue with God, but with man. Let’s read:
Job 1:1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.
Job 42:12 So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning.
13 He had also seven sons and three daughters.
16 After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, even four generations.
God dwells in eternity, and his thoughts are not our thoughts, and even though His promises may seem to be prolonged, yet those who trust in Him will be enabled to surmount time constraints.
Thus, God is still able to do the impossible, and if we were to trust Him, without murmuring, then the girl of your dreams, or your knight in shining armor may come riding on a horse named opportunity. Isaac was praying, not murmuring, when the woman of his dreams came riding on her own horse (camel). Let’s read:
Genesis 24:62 And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country.
63 And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
65 For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master. (Your knight in shining armor).
The history of Samson’s marriages should teach us important lessons in waiting upon God. Our moods, and attitudes go a mighty long way in determining whether our prayers will be answered speedily, or if they are prolonged. The children of Israel did enter the land of Canaan after a while, but they could’ve done so forty years earlier, were it not for their continual murmuring and complaining.
Again, it was when the Hebrews raised a song of praise, that God went to work in a frenzy, as it were, scattering far and wide the enemies of His people, and proving once more that when whenever we exchange the spirit of defeat and gloom for the garment of praise and prayer, God goes to work in our behalf. Let’s read:
2nd Chronicles 20:19 And the Levites, stood up to praise the Lord God of Israel with a loud voice on high.
20 And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.
21 And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the Lord to say, Praise the Lord; for his mercy endureth forever.
22 And when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.
24 And when Judah came toward the watch tower in the wilderness, they looked unto the multitude, and, behold, they were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped.
[Messages To Young People pp 53] Satan cannot endure to have his powerful rival appealed to, for he fears and trembles before [Christ's] strength and majesty. At the sound of fervent prayer, Satan's whole host trembles. And when angels all-powerful, clothed with the armory of heaven, come to the help of the fainting, pursued soul, Satan and his host fall back, well knowing that their battle is lost.
Therefore, patience, humility, and deference to all of God’s wise instructions are the keys which unlock heaven’s richest blessings, because His hand is not shortened, neither is His ear heavy, that He cannot bless, save or deliver. Let us therefore trust in Him, knowing that in the fullness of time He will come through for us. We end with a passage of scripture to help us as we look to Him. Let’s read:
Isaiah 40: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
God Bless!